Reason 10 - Crying

Well, this is the last essay about prayer.  Next week, I’m going to start a new topic, and with this being April and all, it is a very important month for all Christians.  Yes, it’s time I talked about taxes!  Ok, just kidding.  Well, taxes are definitely important, but well, there isn’t too much to say about them.  You gotta do them, even Jesus paid his taxes.  No, probably the most important event in all history, and definitely what our religion is founded on, is the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.  I’m not sure what I will say about it that’s interesting, unique and something you haven’t heard before, but oh well, that’s what this weekend is for, right?
So, here is the last reason that I don’t go to Prayer Meetings, and this reason is probably unique to only certain types of prayer meetings.
Crying.  I don’t know how to deal with crying.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m an old-fashioned guy, who was told by my father that crying was for girls.  For this reason, it was a very trying time for me this week, as someone close to me was very sad and needed comfort.  And I’m not good at offering comfort.  All I know, is that I’m not expected to solve people’s problems, just to empathize and give them a shoulder to cry on.  I can do that.  But I don’t cry.  Even as a child, my mom and dad were found of telling people that I didn’t cry, even when I got hurt and needed stitches.  And when a guy cries, I don’t deal well with that at all.  Usually my first reaction is to make fun of them and call them “big babies”.  Like when this Gonzaga kid was crying at the end of a heart-wrenching loss in the NCAA tournament.  I was, well to be honest, I was laughing at him and making fun of him.  He’s a baby.  Go suck it up and make your millions of dollars next year when you go pro.  I don’t really empathize well with whiners.  Sure it’s a big game, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that important, like the death of a loved one, or when a close relationship dies.
My family is very emotional when it comes to God.  My dad, the one who told me crying was for girls, never really cried.  He also rarely ever said, “I love you” to my mom either.  He was the prototypical “John Wayne” type person, who never wears his heart on his sleeves.  But, during prayers and during the few times he spoke on the pulpit, he’s a whole other person.  He cries, and has no problem saying “I love you” to Jesus.  I find that odd, don’t you?  When preachers start crying in the middle of a sermon, I get really uncomfortable, and I tend to look away, at the ceiling, at my hands.  And I wait, until they compose themselves and move on with the rest of their sermon.  To me, crying is like what Paul was saying about speaking in tongues in the middle of church service.  Sure it’s very spiritual and moving, but it doesn’t really help people understand the message.  Have you ever heard people talk while crying?  It’s really hard to understand what they’re saying, in between the sobs, sniffles, and their voices usually go up an octave higher.
Consequently, I don’t like when people cry in prayers either.  There’s nothing wrong with it, and I’m sure the person really feels the emotions while praying.  I just don’t like to hear it.  And it’s not like you can comfort them, because you are stuck in your seat for the entire prayer meeting, I guess, ideally with your hands folded in a prayer-like pose.  I dunno.  So it’s very awkward, and when they get the dry heaves (you know when they’re gulping in too much air and they can’t talk), I just have to sit there and pray (ha ha! Pun quota filled!) that they can make it through the rest of the prayer without hyperventilating.  I wonder what do they do if they do start hyperventilating?  Pray through a bag?
I just finished reading what I wrote, and I really must apologize for this week’s crappy writing.  I’d blame it on illness, but it’s not something that will go away after a good night’s sleep and aspirin.  I’m really looking forward to the weekend to unwind, and hopefully get myself in the writing mood.  Anyway, that’s the top ten list of things that bother me about group prayer.  

An interesting thought that someone gave me last weekend: Is it a blog when no one reads it?  Enjoy and discuss.