Crazy Christians

Pat Robertson:
We have imagined ourselves invulnerable and have been consumed by the pursuit of ... health, wealth, material pleasures and sexuality... It [terrorism] is happening because God Almighty is lifting his protection from us.
Robertson's explanation of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, in a three-page statement released Thursday, September 13, 2001

I know it sounds somewhat Machiavellian and evil, to think that you could send a squad in to take out somebody like Osama bin Laden, or to take out the head of North Korea, but isn't it better to do something like that, to take out Milosevic, to take out Saddam Hussein, rather than to spend billions of dollars on a war that harms innocent civilians and destroys the infrastructure of a country?
The 700 Club television program, August 9, 1999

The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.
fundraising letter, 1992

Ann Coulter:
Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity, as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of ‘Kill everyone who doesn’t smell bad and answer to the name Muhammad.’

The Great Satan is wearying of this reverse hegemony, in which little pipsqueak nations try to impose their pipsqueak values on us. Aren't we the ones who should be arrogantly oppressing countries that unaccountably do not have the death penalty?

(Mel) Gibson didn't insert Jews into ("The Passion of the Christ") for some Machiavellian, racist reason. Christ was a Jew crucified by Romans at the request of other Jews in Jerusalem. I suppose if Gibson had moved the story to suburban Cleveland and portrayed Republican logging executives crucifying Christ, the left would calm down. But it simply didn't happen that way.

Boy, I can't imagine why Evangelical Christians have a bad rap. Do I even need to talk more? Why are we still letting these people represent the Christian populace? Or maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on this. I guess the real Christian leaders are busy in the background doing the important stuff and letting these guys run the "smoke screen" as it were. But, I'm here, not really doing much, so I'll handle the trivial stuff while letting the real guys get to work. That was a joke, btw.
I have several theories on why we still have Pat Robertson speaking, let alone have his own TV show.

Reason 1: He's harmless and good for a laugh. Does anyone still take him seriously at this point? I don't know about you, but hearing his quotes just makes me laugh. I don't think he takes himself seriously at this point. It's gotten to the point where any disaster strikes, I'm anxiously waiting for Pat to speak up about it, just to hear what he says next. ("Oh the earthquake in Hawaii? That's because God hates macademia nuts.") And to those anti-christians, or the liberal left (no relation) who actually take him seriously, give me a break. You can't feel justified with your position by pointing at whatever he says as a logical point. It's like using the great "Are too/am not" lines in a political debate. (Oh wait...)

Reason 2: If we shut him up, someone worse may actually replace him. What we don't need right now is someone intelligent as the spokesperson for the Christian Right. That could lead to actual war, and as everyone knows from WW2, you don't want to fight a two-front war, especially during an election year. Robertson is pretty harmless. See Reason 1.

Reason 3: Pat and Anne have gone so far to the right, that it has to be an act. I'm not sure they entirely believe the stuff they say. I think it has to be a role they play just to get attention. They have always craved attention, and now they will say or do anything to get it. Because they're harmless, when they fall or sin, it's not a huge blow to the rest of the Christian community. Don't believe me? Imagine if a scandal were to arise concerning Pat Robertson. Like he was embezzling money from his foundation. Now imagine that same scandal from Billy Graham? Which would rock the Christian foundation more? And you know why? Because, Pat has already established himself as a loony, and clearly from his remarks, he doesn't know what he's talking about anyway.

Reason 4: Maybe they are perfect examples to Christians on what not to believe in. Oh, Pat says assassinations are good, well then I'll believe the opposite!

Reason 5: It's God's Will. Sure, this reason works for everything from George Bush as President to me still having a job. But, nevertheless, it's still an important reason. God wants Pat to have that 700 show to sell-- I mean solicit donations, and Anne to keep saying preposterous things on talk shows to sell books. Everything is for God's glory.

Anyway, it's not like I can do anything about it except rant and rave. Surprisingly, I do feel better now though.