Happiness

So today is the last day of February. And that means this is also the last article about love. Yay! Although there is so much to write about love, frankly, I’m getting a little depressed. So, sit back and enjoy. Next month, I’m going to talk about… prayer!

Let’s talk a little more about the results of love. I’ve touched on it a little, about the love of parents for a child. How they stop becoming selfish, and start becoming selfless. Well, that type of reaction is not just solely for parent-child relationship, or even spouse-spouse relationship. It’s inherent to love itself. The Greeks had lots of words for love, but C.S. Lewis narrowed it down to 4 as it applies to Christianity. Storge, Philia, Eros, Agape. I would contend that for each one, a person’s behavior would still change from being inward focus, to outward focus. But first, let’s talk very briefly about the 4 types. Who knows, God-willing I can discuss this further next Feb. =)

Storge – Family love. Most commonly, this term is applied to the love between family members. It is based on chance, you don’t choose your child’s characteristics, and it’s instinctual.
Philia – Friendship love. Typically, a bond formed based on common interests. It is practical, in that both people benefit from it.
Eros – Sexual love. It’s the more common form of love, dating/newlywed love. It’s love based on beauty, or loveable qualities.
Agape – Unconditional love. A love not based on any loveable qualities that the object of the love possesses.

In all cases, you want the object of that love to be happy. For family love, you try to sit down and eat as a family. Your mom remembers your favorite food and cooks it for you. When she goes grocery shopping, she doesn’t buy the flavors or snacks that you don’t like. Friends will try to make other friends happy or else they won’t hang out with each other anymore. And by virtue of their shared interests, they’re happy when they talk or do the same activities. For lovers (in the American sense), if you’re a guy, you buy flowers or give her gifts. For the girls, you dress up nicely, and do stuff that your SO likes to do. Now, agape is a little different. The best way, and the most widely-used way to describe it, is the love that God feels towards us. We don’t deserve to be loved, we sin and disobey him all the time. But He still loves us and wants us to be happy. He is the most selfless Being ever, because He sent a perfect man to die for us… for no humanly discernable reason.

So what kind of love should we have with God? That’s a question I can’t really answer for you. It’s a personal thing that you have to decide with God. But, whatever relationship you have with him, you need to understand that your life has changed. As Paul said, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Eph 4:22-24) Here’s what it means in a practical sense. Think upon the time when a) you began a long-term relationship with someone, b) married c) your sibling was born. If you are single and an only child, well… imagine something else. When that new love came in, your whole life changed, didn’t it? Marriage is the most drastic. You put off your “bachelor(ette)hood” and put on “marriagehood”. It’s the same way with God. And just like your spouse, God comes with rules. “Seat down”, “Roll the tube from one end”, “Chew with your mouth closed”. And we put up with them, not because we think they’re the right thing to do (even if they may be), but because we love that person and we want them to be happy. So we don’t obey God’s rules because that will get us into heaven. It’s impossible for us to obey His rules. But daily, we must strive to do so, out of love because we want Him to be happy.