I wish it was I

This will probably be the closest I will ever come to writing a love poem. When I first started writing poetry, one thing I vowed never to do was write love poems. One, they're hard to do without them being sappy, and two, every teen filled with angst and aspirations of being a poet always writes love poetry. Third, you can't write what you have never experienced.

So anyway, in light of Valentine's Day coming up, here's a pseudo-love poem for you.

Enjoy.

I wish it was I

I wish it was I
at the other end of the phone,
who made you smile
the way lovers do,
when sharing a secret private moment,
that kind of wistful smile
with a hint of longing to be
next to one another instead of
hearing the digital voice …
and the way you crook
your neck around the receiver
reminds me of the way swans
entwine their necks
around each other,
a symbol of eternal love.

I wish it was I
holding your hand
instead of your lover’s
as you both walk down
the rows of shops lining Broadway,
the small curio tourist shops intermixed
with the trendy franchises.
and every so often
you would squeeze your partner’s hand
and point at something you thought
was cute
or just plain
cool
and you’d draw close to each other,
your love leaning in to whisper
some endearing comment
that makes you laugh.

I wish it was I
who held your gaze,
those dreamy eyes
that speak words of love more eloquently
than any sonnet or ode.
I watch the two of you sit
across from each other alone
even in the midst of friends
in a noisy crowded restaurant.
Somebody would make a comment
and while everyone is laughing,
you would glance at each other
and both smile,
sharing a private joke
that nobody else notices
except me.

Why won’t you look at
Me
the same way you do with your lover?
Didn’t you promise your life to
Me
when you were dressed in your Sunday best,
while standing at the shallow end
of the swimming pool?
And how can you say, “I love you”
to another
with the same passion you said to
Me?
Do I linger in your thoughts as often
as your love?
I gave you life,
nurtured you as you grew up,
comforted you when you broke up,
blessed you with a better person.
Is it too much to wish that I
be
your primary love?

-Nathaniel Kwok