Last Man Standing

Warning: Other than the intro, this piece was written for a W4C newsletter.

Everyone has a soulmate. Or there’s a right person for everyone. I’ve heard these comforting words from many people. I’ve always wanted to say, but what if they’re in Africa? Just because there is someone for everyone, it doesn’t mean we will be able to find that someone as well. So does that mean we have to travel the entire world searching for that special person?

For Christians, it’s tougher to find the soulmate. For one thing, the pool is always smaller. If you thought finding a nice girl in Silicon Valley is hard, how about finding a nice Christian girl in Silicon Valley. Apparently fellowships are out of the question, because every one frowns on going to fellowships just to meet people. “That is so-so- unspiritual! You should be going to fellowship to talk to God,” some sisters tell me. But I talk to God every day, why do I need to spend an entire Friday night to do that? And picking up someone during Church Service? Forget it! The pastor has this weird rule of only one person talking during the sermon. What’s up with that!?!

Several years ago, I had just finished going to the last wedding of the year. It was my 6th one. It seemed like whenever my co-workers ask me what I'm doing for the week-end, my response would always be the same.
"Wedding".
"Again?!?", they would inevitably reply.
"Yeah, another one".
"What is that, like your twentieth wedding?" Then a pause. And then I see a smirk forming on their lips. I've been expecting that smirk, that's why I always watch their faces carefully. It happens every time I tell them I'm going to a wedding. EVERY TIME.

"So when are you going to get married?"

A million smart-alecky answers come racing into my brain. How about this one? No... I've used that one already. I may be sarcastic, but never stale. How about this... no, it's too mean. Eventually, I would end up retorting with a watered-down, depreciating remark like, "Oh, I can't put the cart before the horse, I need to find someone first." Then they usually reply, "Go to San Francisco. So-and-so moved up there just to meet girls." That's when I have to resist the urge to strangle them.

Even if on the days (rare) I don't attend a wedding, someone in the office would get married. (We had a lot of single guys at our place). Usually, it'd be an Indian. (we have a lot of Indians at our place.) Usually, it's after they've taken a 4 week vacation to go back to India. It's gotten to be that any time an Indian co-worker announces they are going back to India, I know they aren't coming back alone. I'm not stereotyping or anything, it really does happen that way. Happened to 5 so far. One extreme example, a co-worker went to India for just TWO weeks. Came back with a wife. Met her for TWO days, and got married. Two. I have friends who have been dating for 8 years and are still not married. Two. The day he came back and announced his marriage, I came over to congratulate him.
"Hey, congratulations!"
"Thanks", he would beam.
"So... what does she do?"
"Oh, she's a doctor!"
"Wow, a doctor! What kind of doctor?"
"Umm... I'm not sure..."
Ohhkkaayy... I simply smiled and walked away, shaking my head. Oh well, at least he's got the rest of his life to find out. Anyway, whenever a lucky newlywed shoots an email about their marriage, my co-workers just look at me. "Before you say anything, no I'm not getting married soon, no I'm not going to China to pick up a wife, and no, I'm not moving to San Francisco!" My hands start twitching and I resist the urge to strangle. Yes, this is my workplace.