What I’m trying to talk about this week is forgiveness. What exactly does it mean to forgive someone? Now, the guy I was talking about earlier, he lived by a simple rule. Three strikes and you’re out. What he means is if you cross him three times, he will have nothing to do with you anymore. So apparently the first two times are “warnings”. And he will “forgive” you those two times. But if you cross him, and make him mad again, well buh-bye!
First of all, he absolutely gives no ground rules on what makes him mad. Looking at him funny will make him mad. I told him that too. I said, “You can’t expect people to live by this three strike rule if you’re being vague about it.” He just shrugged. “That’s tough.”
Second of all, is it really forgiveness when he still keeps track of the number of times he’s been wronged? Can you imagine Jesus doing that? “Oh, that’s the 2,412,239 lie you told today, you’re outta here! Don’t you know? I have a 2,412,240-strike rule!” I dunno, but I don’t think forgiveness works that way. How did Jesus put it? Something about hitting someone 490 times. I’ll have to look it up later. I think an essential part of forgiveness is forgetting. When you forgive someone, you’re not holding anything against the person who has wronged you. And yes, I’m talking to you, ladies who hold grudges about things your Significant Other did 10 years ago! When you say forgive, you forget. It’s automatic. It’s why they share the same 3 first letters. FOR.
What does forgiveness really mean? It’s so trite and trivial nowadays. Someone says sorry, you say I forgive you. Sometimes, even a “forget it”. That means, the action is in the past, and you have both moved on. That’s the key. Like Jesus said, if you want God to forgive you, you need to move on. You can’t be carrying and storing up all the sins other people have against you. Your burden (not to mention your mind) will get heavier and heavier. Soon you’ll need a spreadsheet to keep track of who has wronged you how many times. And anyway, what’s the point of keeping track? Are you going to be like my friend and put an upper limit on the suffering people have caused you? What will you do then? Stop being friends?
When you start holding grudges against people, it sours the relationship, and you stop trusting them. You may say you forgive on your lips, but deep down, you’re just waiting, biding your time until they slip up again. Then out comes the “I KNEW IT. You told me you would never do it again, and here you are, doing it again!” And then what? All you did was shown that you are the liar, because you didn’t really forgive the person. Forgiveness means the slate is clean. When you forgive a person, that wrongdoing has never happened. It should be erased from your memory. After all, doesn’t everyone need forgiveness? And I’m pretty sure you want God to wipe your slate away, right? Well, as Paul says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col 3:13) Keep that in mind when I have sinned against you for the 20th time.
1 comment:
True forgiving is hard (if not impossible) to do for us humans. Our inability to do it is just an indication of a much more serious problem inherent in us: that of not understanding how sinful and utterly depraved we are. When God in His mercy allows us to get a tiny glimpse of our own heart to see the infinite depth of our sinfulness, we will then realize that no one could ever wrong us as much as the way we have wronged the people around us and our Creator. This realization will take away our thinking that we naturally deserve not to be wronged and allow us to say, "I really am not even in the position to forgive." Only God is in the position to forgive. When Jesus/Paul asks us to forgive, God is, I think, granting us part of the power and authority that actually belongs only to Him, as a way of reflecting His glorious forgiving character and displaying the greatness of His grace. When a person can truly say, "I forgive you," that person says it with only in God's strength, and that act of forgiveness is truly a miracle that can only be attributed to the working of the Holy Spirit. God glorifies Himself in front of us through enabling acts of true forgiveness. The human forgiver gets no credit, but is in fact joyful and fulfilled seeing God glorified.
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