Character (Pt 1)

I recently saw an old CSI episode, from one of the Chinese DVD sets that my mom bought for me for 10 dollars. That’s a full season of CSI for 10 American dollars. Here, it sells for $40, and she still complained about how expensive it was. Anyway, in one of the few discs that actually worked in my player, I was watching an episode where this 14 year-old boy died in his psychiatrist’s home. His psychiatrist claimed that he had a seizure and died. The CSI crew found Angora rug fiber on his body and underwear but not in his pants. Oh, and did I mention the psychiatrist was hot? At first, the CSI didn’t suspect anything, but then they found out that the psychiatrist had a rap sheet. She was charged with statutory rape. So naturally, they assumed she’s done it again. Never mind the fact that she’s a well-respected therapist and it happened 10 years ago with nothing wrong during that time. Oh, and then later it came out that concerning the rape case, she was 21 and the guy was 17. So, what’s the first thing they suspect? Yup, you can’t escape your past. All those good deeds she did, people would just assume she’s trying to “hide her past”.

It may take years to build a reputation but only one incident to tear it down. You could spend your whole life building orphanages, helping the poor, feeding the homeless, but you steal one dollar, and all that goes out the window. From then on, you’ll forever be known for that one little thing, instead of the hundreds of good works you’ve done. As I’ve mentioned before, what’s the first thing you think about when I say “Jimmy Swaggart”, “Jim Baker”, or “Michael Jackson” or “Bert and Ernie”.

Don’t worry, I’m not out of ideas yet that I have to show some reruns now. This is about something else. People judge others not by the good they do, but by their wrongs. This is especially true of the Christian community. Is it because Christians are afraid of being called a hypocrite? As Christians, we have cultivated this image, that we are going to be saved, while all the sinners are going to hell. So the doubters and atheists watch us closely for any sign of sin, so that they can point it out and thus prove their point. That we’re hypocrites who are going to hell as well. Or that because we sin, it proves that God doesn’t exist. It doesn’t help that we tell others how to live, what not to do, what to do. Naturally, the people who got rebuked will be looking closely at the rebuker so that they can get their retribution. Or if they’re deluding themselves, to “show them how it feels to be rebuked.”

I have no illusions to my saintlihood. I know I am not perfect, so when someone points out my problems, I accept it gratefully. It’s for the same reason that I don’t tell others what to do or not do. Because I take this verse to heart. “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (Mat 7:4) Or the more famous words, “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone”. (Some book where they were going to stone the adulterer) I know I have so many planks in my eye that I’m sure I could build an ark with them. Bigger than Noah’s.

I’m not perfect. When someone offends me, I get angry. I want to hurt them as much as they hurt me. Or when someone rebukes me, and tells me that I’m wrong, I have more than enough pride to feel insulted. I’m never wrong! Everyone else is wrong! I don’t fail, it’s the others who have let me down. That’s my alibi and I’m sticking with it.