Siblings->Weddings

It’s summer time, which means wedding time. As my friends approach that age known as senility, they all decide to forsake fun for boring. Err I mean, they’re all getting married, resigning themselves to smelling each other’s bad breath every morning, day after day, year after year. And soon after, all their vitality will be sucked dry with worries about bills. And then they’ll start trying to have kids, followed by wishing the kids will hurry up and leave the house so they can be alone again.

Sorry, I got carried away there. Anyway, back to weddings. Has anyone noticed how weddings and funerals are so similar to each other? They’re two events where there’s usually a dinner afterward, and everyone dresses up really nice. They both have pastors presiding over it. However, in one ceremony, the celebrants involved are worried about making sure all the guests are entertained, while in the other, they don’t care what happens during the ceremony.

There’s one other very important, and more serious distinction between the two. In a funeral, everyone is welcome to attend. In fact, people announce it to the world, via obituaries in the newspapers and giving a time and date when the funeral will happen. However, marriages are more selective. You need a written invitation to show up, unless you’re one of those professional wedding crashers. Weddings as such, is another way to show everyone who the friends are and who are mere ‘acquaintances’. And the couple getting married will rank their friends too. See, the closest friends are invited to the innermost circle, the bridal party. They get to stand up with the bride and groom and let everyone attending know exactly who the real close friends are. Of course, even among the close friends, there is a “best” man and a maid of “honor”, meaning out of all the close friends, these are the closest of the closest. Anyway, the next step down are the wedding workers. Contrary to conventional wisdom, it’s an honor to work at the wedding. I'm not sure why. You get all sweaty and nervous and you don't get paid on top of it! But you do get to wear these flowers that distinguish you from the other “riffraff”. Plus you get to eat at a special pre-wedding banquet. The next ring of friends is the “dinner friends” circle. These are the people who are invited to the post-wedding banquet. Because dinner tables are expensive and unless the couple is filthy rich, they need to carefully decide who is worthy to eat and who should go home hungry. After that ring, there is still one more group. These are the people who are just invited to the wedding ceremony, but not the dinner. Since this is not usually constrained by money, but by the church space, more people can be invited to attend. And for those who aren’t even invited to the ceremony, well….tough luck. I guess that Restraining Order really means you can’t be friends. Heh, ok, just kidding about the last part.

I’m probably oversimplifying it a little, but not by much. The thing is (watch how masterfully I’m able to connect siblings to weddings) you would (yeah, it’s coming up now, watch and be amazed) definitely invite (ok, last pause, but you’ll kick yourself for not figuring it out sooner!) your sibling(s) to your wedding right? Even the ones you don’t really like, you still will invite them. Why? Because they’re family and under the eyes of the government, they’re immediate family. Even if you have 12 brothers and sisters, I’m pretty sure you’re going to invite them all and have them wear special flowers that say, “I’m closely related to the couple”. It’s a given. If you have a brother in Germany, you just know he’s going to fly his entire family to the wedding, why? Because he loves you? Yeah right, get real. No it’s because you’re family. Because if he doesn't come, boy will he get an earful from Mom and Dad! You don't want that, believe me!

(Wait! We're not done yet! Stay tuned for next week! Ooh the anticipation!)