Sarcasm (Pt 2)

So is being sarcastic a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I guess you have to decide whether biting someone’s flesh off is a good thing or bad thing. Maybe a nice, juicy fat guy, with some Cianti sauce.* Did you know Jesus was sarcastic? It’s hard to tell. Remember, how I said sarcasm doesn’t translate well in the written language? You really have to know someone and their character to be able to tell when someone’s speech is sarcastic or not. When someone told me about Jesus, I was taken back at first as well. Jesus? Sarcastic? Isn’t that… a sin? Well, since Jesus had never sinned, then I guess sarcasm isn’t a sin… well either that or Jesus never was sarcastic. I’ll throw some verses at you, and you be the judge for yourself. You’re a smart reader…after all, you’re reading my blog!*

I think the biggest indication of Jesus’ sarcasm, was when he compared the Pharisees to tombs. Let’s look at that, shall we?

13"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. 15"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are. 16"Woe to you, blind guides! You say, 'If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.' 17You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? 18You also say, 'If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gift on it, he is bound by his oath.' 19You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? 20Therefore, he who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. 21And he who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. 22And he who swears by heaven swears by God's throne and by the one who sits on it. 23"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. 25"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. 27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. 29"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. 30And you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.' 31So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. 32Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers! (Mat 23:13-32)

I bolded the verses to highlight what I feel are the sarcastic comment Jesus made. I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could find a sarcastic remark in all seven of the woes. But, I'm lazy and I don't get paid enough to think. Also, it might be just my wistful thinking, I like symmetry and it'd be neat if Jesus did that, but eh, I'm not complaining if he didn't.

Before I start, let's remember what separates sarcasm from irony. The main thing is that sarcasm is an attack on someone or a group. It is often hurtful and sometimes vindictive. But in this world, pain is a good thing, because it lets the one who feels pain know that there is something wrong, either in the body, mind, or spirit. In this case, the Pharisees are the target of Jesus' sarcasm. And he wants them to know exactly what is wrong with them.

So let's look at the first one: "You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to." What are the Pharisees known for? Well, they're known for being holy, right? They're also the priestly caste, so they have an inside track on how to get to heaven... supposedly. And who better to get into heaven than these guys right? They know the Mosaic law by heart, they can probably recite the entire Pentateuch from memory. And yet, Jesus is telling them they are not entering heaven. Isn't that ironic? People thought most likely to get into heaven are actually not getting into heaven. And what's funnier (or not) is that instead of helping their fellow non-Pharisees getting into heaven, they're actually hindering them! Eh? That's pretty funny, eh? Ok... next attack!

"You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." So Pharisees are doing the best to convert others and save their souls. They go around from city to city and tell people they're going to hell. Unless.... unless the sinners follow their rules and believe in the God they believe. Hrm... sounds familiar? So they go to the ends of the known earth to convert one person. They bribe, cajole, persuade the person to attend synagogue. And once they believe, once they accept, what do the Pharisees do? They make them twice the hypocrites that the Pharisees are. That's pretty ironic, right? "Hey, believe in God and be happy when you're in heaven. But wait, do this and that, and you gotta do that." Pretty soon, instead of being happy they are saved, these converts probably would rather kill themselves. Now you see the irony?

"You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel." Some humorists lump over-exaggeration as part of sarcasm. And this example pretty much personifies over-exaggeration. Jesus does this a lot. A more famous one is about a rich guy and a camel. I don't know the exact verse, but well, it's famous....go ask around. So, what exactly is this verse about? I'm not too sure, I'm not a Bible theologian. But here is what I got from the few minutes when I listened during Sunday School. Pharisees are all about cleanliness. They wash their feet before eating, they wash themselves before sacrifice. So they'll do everything to make sure things are clean, even draining the wine to make sure there's no flies in the vat or something. But with their whole obsession with cleanliness, they don't even see the major sins that are staring them at the face. It's like seeing the scratch in the fender without noticing that the entire hood is crumpled. Talk about a misorder of priorities! They should work on cleaning up the big sins rather than worry about the small ones. Jesus is using the exaggeration to emphasize the ridiculousness of the Pharisees' behavior and priorities.

Ok last one, because I'm sure you're getting the hang of it and I'm getting a little tired explaining it. "You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean." So how is this ironic? Well, tombs are unclean, and quite frankly Pharisees wouldn't be caught dead in a cemetery. (Did you see what I did, with the pun? I know humor on SO many levels.) So it's very wrong to compare them to tombs, which they would never do because it's SOOO not them. It'd be like comparing pastors to prostitutes or something (not that I would ever be bold (or drunk enough) to make that kind of comparison). It's just something distasteful that you wouldn't do. Yet Jesus did it, because he's telling them, that even though they may look nice and stuff on the outside, it's the inside that counts. And he purposely compared them to an unclean object to mock them in a way. That Jesus! He should be on Comedy Def Jam or something. I'd pay to see that. I can just imagine him, up on stage, in between jokes, he peers over the audience and sees a bunch of high and mighty Pharisees with their big hats. And then he just starts tearing into them as all good comics do. And the rest of the crowd laughs and thanks God they're not in the front getting the beating.

So... anyway, agree or disagree, I hope you at least give it a chance. Reread some of those favorite Gospels and Jesus teaching. Try to imagine him delivering some of his choice proverbs with a snarky attitude. Open your mind and your ears. Next week... we'll talk about mothers!