Character (Pt 2)

Why is it that people always think the worst of everyone? When someone offers their help to you, do you immediately wonder what’s in it for them? Is it possible to really be selfless? It must be very depressing to go through life and think everyone is doing good things for the purpose of hiding their evil intentions. Or that if you stick with someone around long enough, eventually they’ll drop their guard and show their evil side. I’ve done this before. As soon as someone makes a mistake, I immediately judge them. That this is their ‘true’ character, whatever that is.

Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me a LONG time ago in a galaxy far far away. This happened when I was a kid. I was so immature back then. So I was asked to lead this project. And the teacher who assigned it to me assured me that I would get all the help I’d need from her. Heartened by her words of support, I undertook the task with great pesto. Or is that gusto? I dunno, some kind of Italian sauce. Anyway, after a little time, I was stuck so I sent her an email asking for help. Nothing. I didn’t hear from her for a couple weeks. Thinking that maybe she’s busy or she didn’t see my email, I sent her another one. Again, silence. Tumbleweeds were blowing down the empty street that is the internet. Totally disheartened, I started thinking bad things about her character. How she was a flake, and I couldn’t trust her words. After that, I saw her differently. Whenever I talked to her, or shook her hand, I kept thinking, “flake, flake, flake, flake”. You know, it’s kinda like Austin Powers in Goldmember, how he kept saying Mole to Fred Savage who had this huge mole on the side of his face. “moley moley mole”.

But I’ve matured since that incident oh so long ago (4 weeks ago, to be precise). I don’t judge people by one or two things they do or not do. Nope, I’m far more lenient as I’ve gotten older. Now, it’s three. Hey, if it’s good enough for baseball and the judicial system, it’s good enough for me right? Three strikes and you’re out! Actually, I’m kidding. I had a friend who lived by that code. You were allowed to screw up with him 3 times and that’s it. After that, you’re not invited to his wedding. He’s still single as far as I know, and I can imagine that when his wedding comes, his bride’s side will be filled with people, and he’d probably have like one person on his side. I’m not friends with him now. I struck out a long time ago with him.

So what’s the point of this? It’s all about forgiveness, and a component of forgiveness is forgetfulness. As the Great One (no, not Shaq, although he’s close) said, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. (Matt 18:21) Does that mean you have to forgive someone up to 77 times, but on the 78th time, that’s it! No more Mr. Nice Guy! I don’t think so. 7 is a special number in the Bible. It’s a symbol of completeness, much like God rested on the 7th day because the Earth was complete. So Jesus is telling us we need to forgive someone completely. That means no holding it against them either. So if someone borrows 20 bucks from you, and never gives it back to you and then later on hits you or something, you can’t be bringing up the past. “ Remember when I loaned you 70 bucks and you never gave it back? Now you hit me, so that’s it! I’m hitting you back!” That doesn’t fly well with Jesus. Women, remember this as well when your husband does something stupid (which has scientifically proven to happen exactly once every 4.3 minutes). You can’t be bringing up issues long forgiven and most likely forgotten by your husband. Forgive and forget.

What should I have done with my teacher? I should have forgiven her, and forgot her offenses. She wasn’t a flake. She either doesn’t like email or just wants me to fail. And I definitely should not have told the whole school about it either, or made the announcement during my valedictorian speech at graduation. Although we can only judge someone based on their actions, we need to give people the benefit of the doubt. To go even further, not only you give them the benefit of the doubt, you need to forgive and forget them. Because can you imagine if God only allowed you to sin 77 times? Hell, I’d be condemned to hell not even 10 minutes after I wake up. I mean, don’t scientists say men think about sex once every 3.4 seconds?